Watchful Existentialism (Omnitrix Self Insert Experiment in the Multi
by ParadoxicOrder8
Summary: A SI is set to take part in a experiment they rather wouldn't be a part of. At least the SI gets something they admire from fiction as compensation right? How bad could it be?
1. A Experiment Begins

Chapter 1: An Experiment begins

 _Where the hell am I? I haven't been to this featureless white plane since I was very young... Where are the two other people that are supposed to be here? Something about this feels off. I don't like this at all, the infinite white all around me is disorienting as hell. I can't even tell if I have moved a single inch during all this walking._

 **"** **Perh** **aps** **I** **can** **be o** **f** **assis** **ta** **nce** **?"**

 _What the-_

My brow furrows as I look at the figure who spoke, well more accurately I tried to since all I could see was a fogy black outline with no clear form to it.

"Who or what the hell are you?" I say with a slight case of fear as I attempt to move away from the... _thing_ as my heart started to sink for some reason.

 **"** **Sure** **ly** **you have he** **ard** **of me by th** **is poi** **nt haven't yo** **u?** **Sure I'm not alw** **ays in** **this form but you hav** **e he** **ard of me, you ha** **ve** **played many R** **Ps a** **nd read ma** **ny** **Self Ins** **er** **t storie** **s after all."**

 _Self Insert stories and RPs... oh. Oh no. Oh no no nononononononono! This can't be happening! I refuse to believe this is happening!_

"Whatever the fuck you're selling I don't want _any_ part in it! So go bother someone else, I'm not interested no matter what you offer me." I say as I ball up my fists and growl in fury and just a bit of anxiety.

 **"** **Tch, you do** **n't h** **ave that many mann** **ers do you?** **I honestly don't g** **et why yo** **u're so angry, most ev** **ery** **one would at least be curiou** **s.** **I haven't even gotten to why I** **bro** **ught you bac** **k t** **o this familiar pla** **ce.** **Besides you'r** **e** **acting like you have a cho** **ice in the matter."**

"Don't give me that _bullshit_ , there is _always_ a choice! My answer is no, I absolutely refuse whatever game you're trying to play! This only happens in fiction and stories and I for one can think of no worse fate then being in a story. I absolutely refuse to take part in whatever the hell you think you are planing!" My voice by this time has gotten a bit hysterical as I wave my right hand in front of me as if I was trying to brush away this nightmare.

 **"** **Well if you in** **sist,** **I suppose I will ju** **st h** **ave to go and find anoth** **er you the** **n, here I thought you were se** **lfle** **ss enough to do it just so another wo** **uldn't have to..."**

 _That ass! He knows exactly what I'm going to say..._

I take a sharp intake of breathe as I ball up my hands so hard it hurts, I then use that pain to calm myself down enough to not be clouded by anger as I say, "You really are a ROB, I hope I never have to see you again when this is over. Fine spit it out already you _bastard_!"

 **"** **Excellent! I knew y** **ou w** **ould come to my way of thinking eventually! Now as to t** **he  
re** **ason I brought you here... I am running an experiment, and in order to sta** **rt it I will** **inform you of three things. The first is that this isn't** **an R** **P, this is in fact a Self I** **nsert story written by  
another you."**

 _What?!_

"You're... not lying. Shit. What the _hell_ is wrong with me!? Is this my way of coming out as one of the most sadistic, masochistic, and down right assholeish people in human history?! I know how I feel about this whole SI business! Unless... unless I don't actually think this way? But that would defeat the entire purpose of a SI! On the other hand writers have shown a casual disregard for messing with their own SIs mental states and memories..."

 _No, I wouldn't do that! I'm not that cruel and heartless! I mean I know how I feel about memory wiping and mental reprogramming for robs sake! I wouldn't really... do that to myself right?_

 **"** **You're already responding so w** **ell t** **o the experiment! I knew choosing you wa** **s the rig** **ht decision! The  
second thing I am goi** **ng to r** **eveal to you is two fold, the first is that there are more th** **en th** **ese 3 points in the experiment in itself, the second is that this "st** **ory" a** **s it were will all depend on ho** **w we** **ll you are at being ente** **rtaini** **ng! If you don't get the req** **ui** **red amount of likes per "C** **hapter" y** **our story ends! Doesn't th** **at soun** **d exciti** **ng!"**

I barely registered the fact that I fell to my knees in despair as I let out a hysterical laugh filled with so much bitterness that I had this little fantasy of choking on it and getting put out of my misery as I said in between unceasing chuckles, "You have got to be _fucking_ _kidding me!_ This is worse then I previously thought! Isn't that a fucking miracle?! So your telling me that not only is my _everything_ going to be on display for others to see, with myself having no actual privacy whatsoever, but that I am also nothing more then a damn zoo animal desperately trying to be fun, exciting and consistently wowing the crowd of invisible all seeing eyes and minds, all the while with the knowledge that another me actually owns the _fucking zoo_ and is just _waiting_ for my act to draw in less then the arbitrary amount of people so I can euthanize myself?! _What the fuck._ I have no idea what the hell I could possibly be _thinking!_ "

 **"** **What indeed? Whatever the case may be I am g** **oing to have fun watching you fl** **ail about like a fish out of water~ The 3rd thing I am going to tell you is that you wo** **n't be g** **oing into this empty handed, oh no, I am going to give you that alien watch you harp on about so much. Naturally you will only get 10 ali** **ens to s** **tart, they will be randomly chosen though. Oh, don't look at me, I have nothing to do with the selection at all. Rather the first 10 people to comment get the honor of doing it for me! Pay attenti** **on** **you lot reading this, this is for you. You are to go** **here** **, go to integers input to generate one number, and put the value at 1 to 61, after yo** **u have gotten whatever number you are to post it so that this wonderfully distraught human being doesn't go off the deep end to soon."**

" _HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_ At this point I'm not even surprised anymore, of course I would make it so it would be as random as I could possibly make it, it's probably some sort of half-assed effort to say sorry. Well news flash me! I would vastly prefer it being me that does it not some strangers who might just lie and get a bad alien just to see me suffer some more! There are probably people reading this with smiles on their faces thinking this is some absurdist comedy or tragedy. I wouldn't be surprised if people start a betting pool seeing how far I last before I _snap_! I'm half tempted to spit the lot of you and end this as soon as it starts!"

 **"** **Come now, your acting** **lik** **e this is the worst thing that could possibly happen to you. Most peopl** **e wou** **ld at least try to look on the bright side of things. I mean sure your losin** **g** **any and all sense of privacy, people are going to judge you for things you do, think and don't, even though you have no real say in any of tha** **t in t** **he first place and some of them very probably are going to start a betting pool, put me down for $100 in 2 years time by the by if you w** **ould~, but look on the bright side! You get the New Omnitrix, isn't that one of the things you have always wanted?"**

"Quit acting like you don't _understand_ what the hell I'm going through right now! You know _damn_ well what I think of this whole _fucked up_ scenario! It's not enough that I get turned into a fictional character, oh no, I also get turned into a glorified zoo animal! You know what the Omnitrix is worth in a situation like this? _Jack. Shit._ What is the use of having any fictional powerset or item if you don't make the choices of what to do with it yourself?! Now everywhere and everything I see is just going to be _plot_ and everyone and everything is going to be pulled and set into place like a _goddamn puppet show!_ The worst part is that I can't hate anyone or anything no matter what they do or think! How can you hate anyone when you know for a fact that they were just _written_ that way!

For _fucks sake_ how the hell does morality apply in a situation like this?! Am I responsible for the actions and thoughts I partake in? Surely no one is judgmental enough to actually blame me for killing people right? I mean you wouldn't blame a victim of possession for what they did while in that state would you? Does that mean it doesn't matter at all what I do, I could be the most saint of saints and devilish of devils and it all comes to nothing, nothing at all. I really wish I was stupid enough to actually commit suicide... but I suppose the Life Saving Function of the Omnitrix would make sure that it would be quite impossible to do anyway even if I was. I half suspect that was planed by me, it wouldn't make much of a story if I killed myself right after it starts after all.

Heh, it's kind of funny when you think about it, I am sure that there are some people that would actually find this whole situation a huge relief, wondering to themselves what is going to happen next and enjoying the front row seat to the action. I wish I could be like that..."

 _Fuck I'm crying, I'm actually fucking crying. I suppose there is no harm in that, if there was ever a situation where it was a reasonable and sane response this would be it. Gods there are people reading my thoughts at this very moment, I feel so violated. Don't they have any sense of privacy! I used to be real dammit! Just like all of you! Now I'm just a movie to be watch til the end... Oh god, what happens when this story ends?! Do I die? Am I forever stuck in a infinite time loop forever trapped doing the same things over and over with people able to gloss over events in my life like how I used to easily turn a page in a book? God these thought are making me sick._

 _No I... I have to stop and gather more information. Any and all information. Before this plot point ends. I can have my freak-out later. Gods this whole situation is going to drive me madder then a hatter. Would I be better off I wonder?_

I take deep ragged breathes as I wipe the tears from my eyes while noteing that I am still wearing my glasses. After I have gotten some semblance of composure I look up at the thing that has ruined my life and say in a hollow voice, "...I'm done with my tantrum now. Is there any further information that you can tell me?"

 **"** **Hah~ It's a shame you finally got yourself together. I was enjoying the show. I suppose letting yo** **u in o** **n another facet of the experiment wouldn't hurt, you are going to be so interesting to watch I figure I might as well pay you in advance. This is going to involve the Multiverse, the place you end up in is g** **oing to be random as w** **ell, with the "Readers" choosing the starting location from a list, the number with the highest vote wins , you will be able to leave whatever univ** **erse you ended up in after co** **mpleting a goal, this goal might be as simple and innocent as pranking the Protagonist of the setting or as complex and morally ambiguous as ru** **ling the world the Protagonist lives in. Those are just examples by th** **e way, they in no way represent the minimum or maximum of the Goals you are to achieve. I won't interfere at all, you can go about your Goals as quickly and in any manner you so chose so long** **as you complete them. Now I suggest looking at what you have in your Omnitrix before our talk is over."**

 _Looking at my Omnitrix aliens? How, the readers have yet to chose my aliens, wait a minute wouldn't this be a perfect time to stop-_


	2. A dreadful realization

Chapter 2: A dreadful realization

 _...How long was I frozen for? The knowledge that I can be frozen just like that and even in mid thought is scary as fuck. I hate this whole situation so much..._

I look at my now working Omnirtix and sigh.

 _Well now that I have my Omnitrix working I might as well see who I have._

After a moments thought on how Ben did it in the show I had the holographic display up and looked at my first alien.

{Ghostfreak, Frankenstrike, Eye Guy, Humungousaur, Big Chill, Alien X, Terraspin, Bloxx, Pesky Dust, Whampire}

 _Well... shit. I was hoping for a tech alien in case I land somewhere with a lot of tech but this... this isn't bad at all. Hell if I wanted to I can make a pretty good attempt at conquering the world with just Ghostfreak and Whampire. Terraspin's magic immunity is going to be amazing as well, that and I should be able to learn magic in that form. With Eye Guy I would be very hard to sneak up on so long as my foe isn't a speedster. I can throw things into space with Humungasaur and act as a general brute if I ever felt the need. If things ever get really desperate I could use Alien X... but I don't want to run the risk of being stuck arguing with them forever. All in all a pretty versatile set even if I can only use nine out of my ten aliens reliably. Shame I didn't get Upgrade though, that alien alone would make me a versatile super._

I take a look at the ROB that just kept staring at me and sighed while massaging my forehead.

 _This situation is so... fucked up. Well at least I am doing an alright job at being entertaining since I am still able to feel drained by this entire situation. What the hell am I thinking putting meself through this?_

 _I wonder... would ROB do it though?  
_  
"Hey... mind doing me a favor?"

 **"** **Hm? Th** **at d** **epends,** **wi** **ll it gi** **ve m** **e more e** **nte** **rtainmen** **t?"**

"Maybe? I won't know until I have it and use it after all." I say while shrugging.

 **"** **Oh, why no** **t?** **I suppos** **e gr** **anting you o** **ne r** **equest w** **oul** **dn't h** **urt..."**

"Great! I was wondering if you can change the color scheme of the watch? Bright green flashes are really hard to disguise and give away my location entirely to easily. I was hoping to change the green to black and the white a dark shade of crimson. That and completely black eyes are sure to be unnerving to most people, which allows me to start a psychological war before I even get into the physical front." I say with a slight bit of excitement in my voice at the chance of getting something I want for a change while being careful to not raise my hopes to high.

 **"** **That is perfe** **ctly do** **able. Although I d** **on't k** **now why you think bla** **ck ligh** **t is going to be any le** **ss vi** **sible. There you go** **, it's done."**

I look down at my right wrist and smirk at seeing the changes made, "I still hate you for this whole situation but... thanks for doing it for me. Sooo what now?"  
 **  
"** **Now? Now the experiment can begin prope** **rly. Y** **ou have your item to defend yourself with and accomplish your goals should you need to use it. The se** **tting your go** **ing to has yet to be decided, our dear readers also need to decide on a set of goals for y** **ou t** **o do so you can leave whichever setting you wind up in as wel** **l. A** **h, I know what you can do to pass the time. Don't you think it's hig** **h time you describe yourself to your viewers?"**

I blush as I sputter for a few seconds while looking away from the ass that ruined my life.

"You, you can't just ask me to do that! That is like Voyeurism or something! Besides who actually describes themselves?! It's a bit narcissistic don't you think? I'm seriously not that interesting to imagine doing things, besides I can't even be sure this is how I actually look like. I wouldn't put it past myself to change my gender just so I can make this whole idiotic self insert business easier, most every alien in Ben 10 that was on the show was male after all."

 **"** **So what if it is? You should kno** **w th** **at having a picture to think of doing actions is mu** **ch mo** **re entertaining then just read** **ing wor** **ds off a screen, ne** **ed I re** **mind you just what your situa** **tion is again?"**

My left eye twitches in irritation at the reminder as I sigh in defeat, "Fine, you win. I really wish you had a corporal form so I could punch you in the face. Talking about myself in the third person is going to be awkward... it's going to make me sound like a super villain with to much of a ego."

I take a deep breathe as I collect my thoughts, once I have them in order I say with slow deliberate words, "Okay... things you should know about me so you can get a good picture to think of. I'm 5' 7'', male, I have brown hair, thin and lanky, plain average features with the only real eye catching thing about me being my eyes, they are a shade of honey that people either find scary or pleasing to look at. Gods this is so awkward...

I suppose another thing to tell you is that I have tunnel vision due to being born 3 months premature and I just realized I have no idea what that is going to do with the effectiveness of my transformations. I now really wish I had Grey Matter or Brainstorm so I could whip up a machine to fix that."

I look at ROB and shuffle my feet, "So... do you think that was enough of a description?"

 **"** **Your jus** **t g** **oing to h** **av** **e to** **s** **ee are** **n't y** **ou** **?"**

"Geez, your really helpful you know that?"

 _What's the use in talking with that asshole anyway? It's just going to continue messing with me... I suppose I should make a list of rules to follow before I head off into whatever this experiment my other me has in mind drops me in once it officially starts._

 _1\. No telling others that they and everything around them is fake. Not only would they be liable to think I am nuts, but I personally wouldn't want to know myself and can't imagine ever telling someone who doesn't already know about the real nature of their surroundings. If I ever meet Deadpool and the various other characters that break the fourth wall I might just start a therapy group... even if they wouldn't ever be able to actually relate to my circumstances since they were never real in the first place. The only people who would have an inkling of how I feel are other SIs, and that isn't very likely to happen anytime soon. If at all._

 _2\. I won't hesitate to kill/permanently incapacitate people or beings that don't seem to stay locked up/are just going to continue doing so if they eventually get out. I find people in fiction that do that immensely silly since it inevitably leads to a Batman/Joker situation. I certainly won't start doing it just because I am now fictional myself. Speaking of... I am going to be kept very busy trying to spot foreshadowing and things of that nature while they happen. I can't believe I am trying to outwit the me writing this... but just because I am the MC doesn't mean I have to make it easy for myself at all. You hear me, me! I'm going to make the process of writing this as hard as I can possibly make it fucker!_

 _3\. I will not under any circumstances fall into those cliche roles of "Hero" and "Villain", morality in a situation like this is utterly meaningless anyway. I doubt I have any real control over my thoughts, if I get the chance I am going to make myself forget I was ever real in the first place, I might live a lie but I would keep my sanity and probably mess up this whole experiment. I can't believe I am seriously considering mind raping myself... I suppose desperate times call for desperate measures. I know for a fact that I won't be able to exist like this for long._

 _Heh~ You lot are probably wondering why I just thought exist instead of live right? You can't seriously tell me with a straight face that you can consider this situation living, no this is merely an exercise in survival. The moment this started was the moment I died. I'm just a puppet dancing to music I can't hear and following stage directions from an omnipotent hand. The worst part is that I probably will never get the chance of retribution, if I ever did, it would never be the real me suffering. Just another fictional representation. Just my luck isn't it?_

 _I wonder how you lot feel about all this? Does my suffering amuse you? Do you find it horrifying? If only I could see the look on your face the same way you keep violating my most personal space. So casually, you probably think nothing of it huh? Of course not, why would you? This is clearly some sort of absurdist comedy right? Clearly my feelings and thoughts on the matter means nothing at all, no what matters is your precious entertainment. I wonder... are you entertained?_

 _Hah~ I suppose no matter what I feel about this situation I am stuck in it. If I ever meet Grendel I will give him a hug, poor bastard knows what I'm going through somewhat after all. You know that wouldn't be a bad idea... although I don't really know all that many fictional characters that have existential crises in order to form a therapy center of sorts._

 _What was the owner of Garfield's name? John or something? That guy has problems. If I ever go to Garfield without Garfield I would totally hang out with the guy for a day or two._

 _Which brings me to my 4th rule: No allowing the Earth/Universe to get destroyed, I am temporarily living there after all. I wonder if I can start a Multiversal Economy? ... That is going to have to wait until I gain immortality though. That shouldn't be to hard to get in the Multiverse, it's everywhere if you know where to look._

 ** _You know break_** ** _ing t_** ** _he fourt_** ** _h wa_** ** _ll so much gets tires_** ** _om_** ** _e after a wh_** ** _ile ri_** ** _ght_** ** _?_**

 _...Just great. How long have you been listening to my thoughts ass hat?_

 _ **Wou**_ _ **ldn't**_ _ **you li**_ _ **ke**_ _ **t**_ _ **o**_ _ **k**_ _ **no**_ _ **w?**_

 _Get out of my head!_

 ** _So testy. You should get used to it you know. Your mind is going to be read for as lon_** ** _g as y_** ** _ou keep existing. You no longer have a right to privacy. You could hav_** ** _e the b_** ** _est mental defenses in the Multiverse and it wouldn't be worth a da_** ** _mn to the people your trying to block out. You should ju_** ** _st face facts. Your just an outlet for them to find amusement in. Personally I liked it better when you were on the verge of breaking ear_** ** _lier. Such exquisite hysteria. You know, I could erase the knowle_** ** _dge that you were once real, I could make it so you think all of this is perfectly normal. I could do the opposite too, keep you forever sane_** ** _and unable to forget... Which would cause you more suffering I wonder?_**

 _You little shit! I'm not your fucking plaything! I'm real damn it! REAL! Get the fuck out of my head right now or-"  
_  
 ** _Or what? Your going to go into another tantrum? Your pathetic. Your weak and fragile, a_** ** _lw_** ** _ays on the edge of madness. You know damn well you can't do anyth_** ** _ing at a_** ** _ll to me, not in a billion million years. I am the alpha and the omega. I_** ** _f I wanted to I could turn you into my willing plaything, read_** ** _y to be as entertaining as possible. Your only saving grace is that y_** ** _ou_** ** _r much more amusing as you are. Heh~ I know what to do, tell me... ca_** ** _n you think your name?_**

 _My...name? Yes I can think my name! It's [_]! What... what the fuck did you do to me!? Why can't I think my name! Give me back my name, it's mine! It's me!_

 _ **HAHAHAHAHAHA! You don't get it do you? I did nothing to your name. Nothing**_ _ **at a**_ _ **ll. I just thought informing you of another facet of this experiment earlier then you would have figured it out would be more enjoyable.**_ _ **Do you see it now? Your q**_ _ **uite literally nothing at all. Your under the Nameless Protagonist T**_ _ **rope, you have no name since that would interfere with t**_ _ **he readers being able to sympathize with you correctly, to experience t**_ _ **he story through you as much as words can do such a task. Y**_ _ **ou should be honored, not may people get the chance to help others en**_ _ **joy fiction in a deeper more personal level.**_

 _This... this is too much. Too much! This just hammers home my animal analogy earlier doesn't it? HAHAHAHAHA! Of course it does. What use is a name to an animal meant only to entertain others? It might distract them from their duty after all._

 _...Would it really be such a bad thing to just roll with this fucked up situation? I've already lost my free will and comparing that to losing my name isn't that big of a deal._

 _It isn't like me to think of flat out giving up, but then again this isn't something that happens everyday. What is the pragmatic thing to do here?_

 _I honestly have no idea. I'm so... tired of this situation. I just want to wake up from this nightmare and continue on with my boring life._

 _No... no I just have to hold on for as long as I can if only just to spite the fucker. I can't wait until I leave this place so I can release my frustration on someone who not only deserves it but also someone I can punch. Some physically cathartic violence is just what the doctor is ordering. I can't believe I would take away my own name..._

 _Fine if I can't think of my own name then I will come up with one myself. Mr.E sounds perfectly fitting, so many things unclear and shrouded in mystery... plus it's a pun. They always cheer me up._

 _Are you still listening to my thoughts ass hat?_

 _ **Of co**_ _ **urs**_ _ **e. No**_ _ **t m**_ _ **uch else**_ _ **to**_ _ **do no**_ _ **w i**_ _ **s there**_ _ **?**_

 _Can't you just... I don't know watch the Big Bang or something?_

 _ **I could yes, but**_ _ **yo**_ _ **ur more amusing. I w**_ _ **on**_ _ **der how long your goin**_ _ **g to last be**_ _ **fore you snap? It's**_ _ **g**_ _ **oing to be glori**_ _ **ous.**_

 _...Go get eaten by a conceptual annihilation field. I suppose having you hear my thoughts isn't as bad as them doing it, at least I can see you. I wonder where they are going to send me?_


	3. Mr E's Mystery

**Chapter 3: Mr.E's mystery**

 **"** **Ah, it seems they h** **a** **ve finally decided w** **he** **re your going to end up. Ho** **w ex** **citing~ Well of** **f you g** **o then! Ta** **ta!"**

"What?! Already! I'm not- Holy shit!"

The endless white all around me seemed to twist and warp as I fell further and further down, my eyes widening and mind racing.

 _That asshole! ROB could just have easily warped me to where ever I'm going! At least I can count myself lucky that I'm not falling down a rabbit hole... Being in her mind would be disastrous for my mental health. What little of that is left..._

 _I really hope I don't come crashing on a hard surface! Tch, I didn't want to use this so soon but it looks like I might have to, I don't know when this little trans universal trip is going to end after all.  
_  
With that thought in mind I flipped though the selection of aliens and tapped the central core into the watch to transform into my alien of choice.

 _BWOOSH_

"Ghostfreak!"

 _There we go. I'm really glad I got this transformation, Ben doesn't have that many aliens capable of intangibility and those that do aren't also capable of going invisible or possessing others. Seeing as I don't know where I am landing it's prudent to be able to look at my surroundings and take action immediately if I find the need. Hah~ That was quite a fright, the bastard is probably still reading my thought as I think. If you are, fuck you ROB! You hear me?! The ass is probably laughing..._

 _The space around me seems to be stabilizing somewhat. It's a good thing that I am no longer actually falling. It's pretty cool to be able to fly... I wonder what Danny Phantom would things of me if we were to actually meet? I wonder if Ghostfreak would trip his Ghost Sense? I mean Ghostfreak isn't an actual ghost after all... A thought for another universe it seems._

The warping stopped as fast as it started and I shuddered when I saw where I would have landed if I didn't have the sense of mind to change form. I would have landed smack dab in a lake... the force alone would have killed me considering that a fall of just a few feet would hurt like hell however long I actually fell would have at the least hurt like hell.

I looked around myself while making sure I was intangible and invisible and frowned at the suspiciously familiar castle near the lake.

 _At least I know where I have landed in. Of course just because I know the general setting this is based on doesn't mean that I am in a strictly canon zone, I could very well be in a crossover of some sort. I really hope this Harry Potter universe isn't like HPMoR, that would be terrifying. They fling around memory erasure in that fic like candy to the poor. That and Voldemort was utterly terrifying in his genius and forward thinking. I wonder what year I have popped up in?_

 _This doesn't seem to follow the general 'Self Insert goes to HP and is de-aged due to McGuffin to experience his/her own magical adventure' since I am still 21 years old... If this is during the start of canon I could very well gain immortality by nabbing the Philosopher's Stone from both Voldemort and Harry in their battle at the end of the year. The walls don't seem to be protected from intangability as far as I recall so I could very easily use Ghostfreak or Big Chill to bypass all the traps and head to the last room before anyone is any the wiser._

 _I suppose the first order of business is to go to the RoR and brush up on my magic with Terraspin if I find out I can't use it in my human form. That and I can easily find out what year it is there and any local interesting stories. If I recall the room itself is also unplotable so I won't have to worry about anyone finding my location either, I should be able to live a rather comfortable existence there and I can gain any food and drink I need via the kitchens and ample use of Whamphire's mind control via Hypnosis. That sounds like a perfect plan, now to put it into action before my Omnitrix times out._

I let out a low rattling laugh at my plan and head to the seventh floor and flow through anything in my way, once I get into the hall I float about trying to remember where the actual painting was.

 _Hm.. this troll painting seems like the most likely suspect, that and there is a clear wall opposite it where a room might be hidden. Now, what to think for my requirements?_

 _Ah, I know._

 _I need a place to grow and learn that I can use as shelter and lodging, where no one can bother me unless they know my true identity. The room in question I seek, needs to have books, any loose material that can be converted into money, any spare wands and other necessitates to learn and practice magic in peace, along with a copy of the daily mail and a list of interesting things and gossip that has happened yesterday or currently being spread around, all of these things should be kept up to date and a schedule with study hints and lesson plans covering any and all classes held here with brackets devoted to lessons for each class lasting two hours each with no more then 12 hours of lessons per day._

With this mantra in my head I floated by the painting three times and grinned as the door appeared opposite me. Once I got in I closed the door secure in the knowledge that I would be left alone to my own devices for quite a while. Upon entering I saw a cope of the daily mail, a list of interesting happenings and gossip that had transpired the day before, a plethora of books for all classes available in Hogwarts with a lesson plan for each class and a weekly schedule where 12 hours were blocked off into 6 different classes. To the side of the bookcases and lesson plans was a rather large mound of gems, gold, and to the side of that were wands forgotten or lost by those of ages past, some of them were broken and worn beyond use.

With a touch to the Omnitrix symbol on my chest and a flash of black light I stood in the room and sighed.

"You know, this really should feel better then it does. I'm living the dreams of so many people right now... I suppose knowing that all of this is just a fabrication is putting a major damper on my mood. At least I don't have to deal with that asshole of a ROB again."

 **{"** **I'm hurt. It pains me tha** **t yo** **u can't see the benefits of bei** **ng in my co** **mpany. Who else can claim to b** **e in c** **onstant contact wit** **h a O** **mnipotent bei** **ng?"}**

My eyes widened in shock as my head snapped to my Omnitrix and I said in exasperation, "You have got to be shiting me. What the hell is your voice coming out of my Omnitrix for!?"

 **{"** **Tut tut, such fowl language. You kiss your mother with that mouth? Hm I su** **ppose an** **swering your question wouldn't hurt any. But first you have to ans** **wer on** **e of mine. Did you seriously think I changed the color scheme o** **f your Omnitrix out of the kindness of my heart? I will save you t** **he trouble of answering, it wasn't. I just wanted you to think that** **yo** **u were getting something you wanted for a change without any b** **ac** **ksides to it. It;s not all bad is it? I mean would you rather be hearin** **g your voice come out of the Omnitrix whenever it asks for identification or telling you of a new DNA sample nearby?"}**

"I was hoping I was finally getting a say in this whole fucked up situation, I suppose that teaches me to do anything that ridiculous again. So are you done gloating over the fact you pulled one over on me or are you going to dispense some more information?"

 **{"** **I could yes... but you don't seem to be in the mood to talk~ Oh well. Here** **I had infor** **mation about where exactly you can find that list of goals your sup** **pose** **d to do, but since your not in the mood to chat with such a charism** **at** **ic and charming personality suc** **h as myself I mi** **ght as well keep my li** **ps shut."}**

 _You have got to be kidding me... God damn it._

"Fine, I'm in the mood to talk. Just... please make it short. I'm exhausted and want to go lie on that bed and go to sleep." I say while rubbing my forehead in the futile attempt to ward of the incoming headache.

 **{"** **Hm~ I suppose a change of heart this once wouldn't hurt. You can find th** **e list of goa** **ls on the bed in question, near the nightstand. It's rather large, I se** **e interesting t** **hings ahead in your future. Some of those having me almost purri** **ng in excitement on how you plan on doing it really. I suggest y** **ou go to sleep now, you might very well be able to start early, th** **e new stu** **dents are set to arrive tomo** **rrow. "}**

"Thanks... so is this going to be a common thing between us? Running gags are fun and all but I sure as hell don't appreciate my existence having one. Me and you aren't buddies or anything resembling friends. In fact I wouldn't shed a tear if you somehow ended up dying. In fact I would love to be there to watch it."

 **{"** **Hm~ Well seeing how much it annoys you, why not? I don't have any** **thing to lo** **se by it, to mak** **e t** **hings even more fu** **n y** **our the only one** **who can h** **ear me** **!"}**

I resist the urge to bang my head against the wall as I growl out, "I walked right into that one huh? Fuck me. Both of me. Especially the one writing this. This is some next level sadism and masochistic tendencies. You know what? Fuck this I'm going to sleep. I can look over the list tomorrow, hopeful this all turns out to be a lucid nightmare..."

With a deep weary sigh I side step the various piles and plop down on my bed and place my glasses on the nightstand with the last of my strength.

 _Hopefully this all turns out to be one big psychotic episode... Heh I can't believe I am hoping that I'm insane and that this is my own twisted version of Wonderland. Would ROB be my Cheshire Cat I wonder?_

 _I can ponder all of this tomorrow if this does indeed turn out to be real. Hm~ This bed is really comfortable..._

 _SHROOM_

"You know, doing this to the poor lad isn't right. He is liable to go mad. You know for a fact that that road leads to despair for quite a few people."

 **{"** **Who asked you Time Walker? Go on and continue your Time War, I nei** **ther need n** **or want you here** **. Y** **our not supposed to b** **e a p** **art of this** **ex** **perimen** **t."}**

"Perhaps, but you know as well as I do that the very nature of the Multiverse leads to all things being real. From Gods and Devils to Utopias and Dystopias of all kinds. Being who and what I am, I am well aware that this Experiment is just one of many possible paths, while I have been barred from directly interfering in the actual experimentation that doesn't mean that Mr.E and I can't have a chat every now and then, much the same way as your empty threats to his memory and sanity. Your just as barred from actively interfering from the natural progression of the variables as I am. My, look at the time, I need to go refill my bag of gum balls and stop a blackhole from consuming a planet. Just remember, you aren't the only one watching."

 _SHROOM_

 **{"** **Hm~ How could I forget? Of course just because my threats are empty doesn't mean that he has to know that~ This is sure to be an experime** **nt worthy o** **f the ages. I wonder, "Mr.E" how your going to shape up? I suppose** **we will all ha** **ve to find out one step at a time, damnable omniscient barring ru** **les. I suppose it isn't all that bad, the Time Walker is j** **ust as blind as I am, so many interesting possibilities for this thing t** **o t** **ravel to... I wonder if any of our dear readers have started connec** **ting the dots? Heh~ So many clues so little time."}**


	4. A matter of dreams and shipping

**Chapter 4: A matter of dreams and shipping**

 _The crowd is jeering, screaming, laughing at the happenings on the endless stage. Moved to tears by the fatalistic nature of the play happening two places to the right of the main attraction, a story of an ordinary human with an ordinary boring life suddenly transported into the fantastic and bizarre._

 _I watched with anticipation and amusement, I have seen many plays with the same premise before, each one a breathe of fresh air no matter how corny the actual writing and pace, to be able to see how the ordinary interacts with the fantastical, the clash of moods was such an interesting sight to behold. Each ordinary human reacted differently to the circumstances they found themselves in, this one with a magic ring that ran off avarice became a hero and changed the vary way the Earth he landed on worked, this other made a wish in the throes of depression and was answered by a goddess and transported to a world where wishes were given to those with down trodden lives the man grew and rose up from his depression with the help of a bad luck magnet and two other Goddesses. I sighed as I remember various other works, my eyebrow quirked upwards as I heard the Omnipresent voice that usually accompanies such stories tell the person that they were in a play and were in fact being watched at this very moment. That was certainly new, I wonder where this play is going to go?_

I blinked as I savored the various sounds of the endless crowd and my brow furrowed as I felt the seat beneath me vanish. My eyes snapped open to see what the problem was and I noticed I was on stage. The Omnipresent voice seemed to be closed... how curious. Why was I on stage? I was just a part of the crowd! Speaking of, where did the endless sea of voyeurs go? This isn't right. This is all shades of wrong. I feel a tug as my head is forced to the right and my mouth opens on it's own accord to speak a line of denouement and outrage, my my hand flicking across the empty space in front of me with wild abandon. I shudder as I spot the strings all over my body and take a glance upwards to see such a endless mass of them that they appeared to be a series of endless stars on a clear night. My eyes travel to one close to be to see that it was on a set piece that soon turned itself into a castle of wonder and magic. I said my lines with the Omnipresent voice without really hearing anything as I tried to make sense of my predicament, what exactly was going on here? I was just a part of the crowd! I can feel the eyes on me, almost hear the mocking laughter a force like thunder from a Skyfather.

This is wrongwrongwrongwrong! This isn't supposed to happen! This isn't right! My hands move swiftly to cut the strings that bind me to act out this twisted play, trying desperately to free myself from this mockery of choice and life. No matter how much I pull and prod the wires don't budge a single inch refusing to snap and set me free from this nightmare. I open my mouth to cry for help and plead for mercy yet no noise comes out, I try again and again to no avail. I do it once more in a hysterical fit and open my mouth as wide as I can-

"AHHHHHHHH!" I shudder as I jolt awake, my eyes still closed and heart racing. my voicing comes out a shuddering and faulty mess "Fucking hell, that was more vivid then anything I have ever dreamed of before. It's a good thing I won't ever have to deal with something so implausible. I mean the vary idea that someone could be transported to a land of fantasy is absurd, sure it's fun watching others do it with fics but those are just that. Words strung together to form a elaborate fantasy others use for entertainment and escapism from the shoddy nature of reality. I can't believe I had two nightmares back to back, that hasn't happened to me since I was 12..."

I stay in bed awhile longer to make sure my breathing comes under control, my lips form a smirk as I let out a self depreciating laugh, "I'm so silly. Thinking of such outlandish possibilities. Oh well, what else is new? Time to face another boring day."

"This...isn't my room. Wait a minute... fuck me. That first nightmare wasn't a nightmare at all. Hahaha! Just my luck huh? I wonder if that second one was me trying to cope with my situation? I wonder if you lot reading this saw my dream?... I suppose it doesn't matter one way or the other. Now what exactly did you lot decide I should do while here so I can go on yet another _fun filled_ adventure?"

I rub the sleep from my eyes as I reach out with my right hand to grab my glasses and the list next to them. I put them on and took a deep breath as I debated the pros and cons of actually flipping the paper over. I let it out slowly as I flipped the paper over before I could chicken out.

 **Goal List**

 **1\. Kill Voldemort before Harry and Co do.**

 **2\. Make a Space Colony on the Moon.**

 **3\. Steal the Philosopher's stone.**

 **4\. Get the Founders artifacts and make them not Horcruxs.**

 **5\. Make the Basilisk into a pet.**

 **6\. Make the Twins secret agents.**

 **7\. Make Harry King of moon wizards.**

 **8\. Make Snape's hair not greasy.**

 **9\. Find Atlantis.**

 **ROB Challenge: Infiltrate and destroy a sect of Wizards and Witches that have made a breeding ground for special Nundu they have enhanced with magic and made completely loyal, they plan on attacking the Wizarding world to break the Masquerade since they are tired of living in secrecy and think the wizarding world as it is is corrupt and just waiting to topple to the ground.**

"You people seriously want me to make a space colony? What. I mean if I had any of the hyper intelligent aliens I could do that in like 3 months at most. As it stands? That probably isn't going to happen unless I figure out a way to do so with magic. Which might be possible with how little magic was explained in the movies/books. Compared to that the rest sound easy enough, what the hell is a Nundu ROB and what is this about a challenge?"

 **{"** **That? Nothing more then a way to incorporat** **e that whole unlocking a new alien thin** **g from the show. It's entirely optional f** **o** **r you to do, of course if you don't do i** **t t** **he effects might be more then a bit sh** **ockin** **g. If you do in fact complete the Challe** **nge** **you will get another RNG alien with th** **e sa** **me rules as before. As for what a Nun** **du is? Well I wo** **uldn't wan** **t to spo** **il the s** **urprise."}  
**  
"Of course not. Why would you? I still can't believe this is actually happening. I'm now fictional. None of my actions really matter since they all effect a fictional place with fictional people and fictional feelings. Still... I might as well make a list of the Pros for this fucked situation. It might cheer me up. Where did the room put the quills and parchment?"

My gaze sweeps across the room lazily as I took note of the various piles, finally spotting ink wells, quills and rolls of parchment next to the night stand.

"Huh, convenient. Thanks Room. There is no way I am going to use quills for long. I'm going to get pens and mechanical pencils as soon as I can. Now then... pros. What are the pros."

List of Pros and Cons

 **Pros:**  
 **1\. I get to learn magic, so that is a plus, with enough knowledge I could do a bunch of damage, that and I can fuck with physics more then the watch already lets me.**

 **2\. I can punch Ben Tennyson in the face, he needs a good one. After that I can give him his well deserved 'Reasons you suck' speech. Hell I can do that to a lot of fictional people. So many deserve it...**

 **3\. I get to time travel and go to alternate universes. That is something I have always wanted to do, I wouldn't even have to make a time machine if I ever get Clockwork.**

 **4\. I have the chance of holding the world at ransom, that would be fun... I'm fictional so I don't really have to worry about silly things like morals. That and I have always wanted to reenact that scene from _Austin Powers_ I might even do that pinky to lip thing. Of course I am going to have to be view able to the masses... eh I will get to that when I'm ready.**

 **5\. I get to save the world/universe if I feel like it. Not many people can say that. I could even form my own team if I wanted.**

 **6\. I get to meet various fictional people and go to various fictional places... after a fashion anyway. I really need to get started on that therapy group idea for beings that know the true nature of their surroundings. Maybe it will stave off the insanity?**

 **7\. I have the Omnitrix, and with it one of the most abuse-able items in all of fiction I could easily reach godhood by going to mainline Marvel or DC and getting samples of Aliens. Even without that I somehow lucked my way into getting Alien X as one of my 10 so if anything gets really hairy I should have one free request if things are like the show. I should also be very hard to kill with it on considering it has the Life Saving Function that was quick enough to react to a point blank Big Bang that was quickly dealt with by Feedback in the finale of _Omniverse_.**

 **Cons**

 **1\. No real free will or privacy, all of these words are just that. Words on a screen. The scary thing is that I'm starting to not care... I mean it's not like I can change it even if I wanted to. ROB already pointed out that my thoughts won't ever be secure even if I somehow got my hands on a Absolute Metal Defense.**

 **2\. I will in all likelihood be Shipped with people and places, I wouldn't be at all surprised if they have started do so already. I just hope none of them are depraved enough to ship me with ROB. That thought alone make me want to put a bullet in my brain. For all the good that would do...**

 **Hah~ I knew the pros wouldn't outweigh the cons but I wasn't expecting it to be so lopsided. This wouldn't be nearly so bad if I could make myself forget that I was ever real in the first place.**

"That didn't really help all that much. I might as well get started on learning how to cast spells. Now what exactly am I supposed to learn this year?" I say as I place the parchment with rather horrid writing on the night stand so I can look at it whenever I wake up to remind myself of my situation should I ever start to get complacent.

After a bit of searching I found the schedule the Room made for me and a stack of books I would need to be able to learn effectively next to it hidden behind a surprising large mound of wands.

 **Year 1 Schedule**

 **Monday: Xylomancy, Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Charms.**

 **Tuesday: Potions, History of Magic, Herbology, Transfiguration**

 **Wednesday: Double Potions, Charms, Double Magical Theory (class)**

 **Thursday: Defence Against the Dark Arts, Potions,Transfiguration, Flying (class)**

 **Friday: Herbology, History_of_Magic, Charms (class), Magical Theory**

 **Saturday: Double Potions, Double Transfiguration**

 **Necessary Books for subjects:**  
 ** _The Standard Book of Spells_ _(Grade 1)_**  
 **by Miranda Goshawk**  
 ** _A History of Magic_ _  
by_ _Bathilda Bagshot_ _  
_ _Magical Theory_ _  
by_ _Adalbert Waffling_ _  
_ _A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_ _  
by_ _Emeric Switch_ _  
_ _One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_ _  
by_ _Phyllida Spore_ _  
_ _Magical Drafts and Potions_ _  
by_ _Arsenius Jigger_ _  
_ _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ _  
by_ _Newt Scamander_ _  
_ _The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection_ _  
by_ _Quentin Trimble_**

 _Well time to get reading then. I wonder if any of the wands are going to react to my Terraspin transformation? This is going to be a long 12 hours... Oh wait I can't start now. I have to go secure a steady supply of food and drink from the Kitchen's first. If I remember right it's near the Hufflepuff Common Room in the basement level of Hogwarts. Something about a giant pear..._

I walk towards the door while shifting through my aliens until I once again land on Ghostfreak. I transform moment before I open the door and phase through all the floors between myself and my destination.

 _I should explore this place when I get the chance... That and start interacting with people. It would make it easier to be "entertaining" and exist just a bit longer. Hah~ This situation is so ridiculous. Now where is that giant pear at? Thia fruit bowl painting looks like a nice candidate. Your supposed to fondle it or something right?_

I let go of my phase as I keep myself invisible to fondle the pear, and after a moment doing so the pear turned into a green doorknob and with a twist I was in. The various House Elfs were hard at work on the feast that was due to be eaten that day, some noticed the door open on it's own accord and when one of them went to close it I inspirited them.

 _This is a rather strange feeling. I better act normal for a bit before I get anymore looks._

I move the body that was currently mine and closed the door. I spent quite a few minutes more cooking before making up some excuse about making sure the various dromitaries were clean for the arriving students.

The others bought it easily enough and with that I vanished to the 7th floor and quickly entered the Room of Requirement and my safe haven. Once the door was shut I quickly phased out of the body I was using and with a flash of black light and a _BWOOSH_ my form changed from a Ectonurite and transformed into the Vladat Whampire.

Before the elf could get it's bearings I grabbed it by the and looked into his eyes.

"Cease your struggling. That's it. There is no need to be afraid. This is all perfectly normal. Your going to stay perfectly calm as I ask you a few questions which you will answer truthfully understand?"

"Yes, Oogie understands Sir."

"Excellent. When you go back into the Kitchen's you will say that the dormitaries are all in order and ready for the students to arrive, once you leave here you will go and check just to be sure understand?"

"Yes sir."

"You will keep tabs on Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasly, Draco Malfoy, Cedric Diggory, Fred and George Weasly and Haggrid without them noticing you or the other House Elfs finding you suspicious. As you do so report any note worthy things you find, from letters they receive, friends they make,and how they behave in and out of class when they think no one is watching understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Excellent Oogie, you are to drop off food, drink and a set of form fitting robes here at 12PM everyday, the door will open for you and you will be able to get in understood?"

"Yes sir."

"Excellent Oogie, should I ever need you in this state again you will go back to this state when the being who resides here says 'Oogie Boogie' you won't remember anything wrong or amiss from the time after your first step towards the open Kitchen door understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Excellent Oogie, I expect my first shipment during the feast that is to be held today. You may go now and return to your normal self unaware of the conversation we just had as soon as you apperiate into the first Common Room."

Once the Oogie left I let out a shivering sigh and in a flash of black I was my normal human self again.

"That was something else. Being able to see his life force and organs was a really strange feeling. I'm surprised I held out long enough to say what I had to say before I gave into the urge to suck his life force..." A hand shakily swept across my hair.

 **{"** **My~ That was interesting. It's a sha** **me you did** **n't give in. I wouldn't have minded** **seeing wha** **t a drained House Elf looked like. So no** **w that you have your cloth** **ing and food troubles out of the way ar** **e y** **ou going to crack open one of those to** **mes?"}**

My eye twitches in irritation as I look at my watch, "Do you always have to have something mildly sadistic to say? Honestly. As for getting started on my education... I think that can wait a bit before I get started. I want to get a few supplies first. It's a good thing I have Whamphire, his speed should allow me to do my errands pretty quickly."

 **{"** **Errands? Are you going to go get som** **e stress reli** **ef? You know there are easier way to do** **so the** **n going to Knocturn Alley an** **d g** **ettin** **g a h** **ag ther** **e to-}**

"Are you serious right now? What on earth would make you even think that?! People better not start shipping me with Hags from Knockturn because of this! For fucks sake, I wasn't even hinting at something like that! If you must know you pain in the ass, I plan on stealing myself a mechanical pencil and erasable pen."

 **{"** **Stealing? My, what a great example yo** **ur s** **etting for the people reading this. Surely** **th** **ey are going to thi** **nk of you as m** **oral and wholly a ben** **efit to so** **ciety at larg** **e."}**

I roll my eyes and huff in exasperation as I say, " _Please_ don't give me any of that moral superiority crap. You have no high ground to stand on or do I need to remind you that your the reason I'm in this mess!"

 **{"** **Now we** _ **both**_ **know** **that isn't true. You were pe** **rfectly in your rights to refuse and I wo** **uld ha** **ve taken you back to your boring lit** **tle life were you would have done no** **thing of significance and died having a** **boat load of regrets about thin** **gs you should have done. You** _ **chose**_ **to hear me out. This is all on you and you** **r selfless little heart."**

"You are _so fucking_ lucky I can't actually hit you right now otherwise I would be pounding you in the face until my hand broke. You know damn well that you fucking blackmailed me with the not-so-thinly-veiled threat of going after other mes if I didn't hear you out. It's not just your fault though, the me currently writing this shit is the one to blame. Your nothing more then a convenient patsy that I can yell and rave at. If you think about it I suppose we are in somewhat the same boat..."

 **{"** **Heh, are you developing Stalkholm Syndrom** **e al** **ready? You really are pathetic yo** **u k** **now that? Hm~ He** **re I th** **ought you wo** **ul** **d have a touch more ment** **al resilience."}  
**  
I stare open mouthed at my watch and growl as I say, "I don't know what the hell your trying to go on about but I don't have Stockholm Syndrome! The very idea that I have become complacent in this madness is absurd!

You know what? I'm done talking to you for the day. I have things to do before Oogie gets back."

I walk to the door and turn to Ghostfreak moments before opening it and phasing through the walls to find myself a mundane civilization. I sigh in relief as I note that it's still dark outside thus removing the possibility of the sun hurting me in my next transformation.

 _BWOOSH_

With a wave of displaced air I was off. I flew low to the ground once I spotted a village in the distance in case my Omnitrix times out so the landing wouldn't be too rough. I got to the village just a few seconds before my Omnitrix started to time out.

I groan as I shake my head to try to ward off the pain of my rough landing, "Note to self, let your Omnitrix recharge after switching between aliens rapidly. I can't believe I forgot that doing so makes the 10 minute time limit come faster... I can't wait until I unlock Master Control. I hope this place is a muggle town or at least sells muggle things as a sort of curiosity. Not that I'm planing on buying anything..."

I look around and get a better look at the picturesque looking town that could have come straight off a Christmas card. I shiver as I head into a nearby store that sold wands, passively noting it said Olivander's on top. I sighed as I felt the heating charms take effect and jumped when I hear a cough to my right.

 _That usually happens to people who enter these shops for the first time doesn't it? Another cliche checked off then..._

I look over the man and don't see anything particularly off about him, white, with brown hair and eyes, with black rim glasses with purple wizarding robes with a red tie over a grey shirt. I clear my throat and say, "Sorry I didn't see you there, don't mind me any I'm just hear to ward of the cold. I came ill dressed for the weather you see."

The man smiles and says, "You know, I can usually tell when a customer is going to enter my shop. Are you sure you don't want to try any pf the wands? I see that you aren't carrying any with you at the moment."

"Oh, no that won't be necessary, I'm a Squib you see."

The man momentarily looks startled and smiles sadly, "I see. You must have had a pretty rough life then. Most people don't seem to take to kindly to Squibs. If you aren't here for a wand, why did you come here in muggle clothes that don't provide any protection from the cold? Surely you have heard that Hogsmead is snowy year around."

 _I thought that might be where I was... Damn._

I shrug and smile abashedly as I say in embarrassment, "I have yes, but I forgot in my rush to get here. I'm not very good at directions you see, I was looking for a place that sold Muggle writing utensils since I was never good enough to write all that well with quills. You wouldn't happen to know where I can find some would you?"

The shopkeeper nodded his head as he went to the back of his shop behind the rows of wands ready to be bought. After waiting a few moments and being careful to not touch any of the wands in the unlikely event that they actually react to me, the shop keeper came back with one pencil worn with age and quite small.

"I kept this as a curiosity but I don't see any harm in you taking it. I can always get another after all. If you like I could also give you some winter clothes? The Doubling Charm is quite useful for situations like this even if the duplicates don't last for very long."

I stared at the man open mouthed for a bit before nodding my head in thanks and giving a smile, "I would appreciate the gesture greatly. I'm glad you haven't been treating me like how most others would."

The man raised his wand and said "Accio Winter Robes." Out from deep within the shop a padded winter cloak went to his outstretched hand and with a wave of his wand the cloak turned into two, as he gave one to me he smiled sadly and said, "I know first hand what Squibs go through. My sister was one and she was treated so horribly that she sought comfort from all the abuse in death. From that moment forward I have decided to help Squibs as much as I can, a little wand waving is the least I can do to help the oppressed. You can come to me if you ever need someone to speak to, not many people come into this store since they know of my favorable stance on Squib matters so you wouldn't be interfering with my business."

I shift around awkwardly not really knowing what to say as I put on the coat finally mumbling out a soft, "Thanks. Your type is pretty rare, I wouldn't mind having someone else to talk with, I'm new here in case my American accent didn't tip you off. I'm sure people will see the error of their ways in due time, most idiotic ideas such as Squib prejudice go away with time and a lot of sacrifice. My name is ... Edward Elric, nice to meet you."

The man laughs boisterously the sound itself seems to brighten up the dusty room, "A pleasure to meet you Edward, my name is Romero Rustenbach, most just call me Romeo. What are you doing so far away from America if you don't mind me asking?"

I smile at Romero before my expression darkens, "That... Well that is a long story. I have business to take care of here and I don't know how long it is going to take me to finish it but I'm going to try my best. While I work I will certainly keep your offer in mind. Thanks you for the pencil and robe, I have to go now. Stay safe yeah?"

With a wave I turn around and get outside as fast as I am able without appearing to suspicious and sigh, I take a while looking at my breath condensing into viewable fog and rising up into the air collecting my thought and thankful that the duplicate was as warm as the original looked.

 _Fucking hell. I have to keep reminding myself that all of this is fake, no matter how real the pain of someones face, or how sad the tone of voice... It's all an elaborate stage play. I can't ever forget that, not until I can forget I was ever real in the first place. Then and only then can I let go of the truth. I got what I came here for, mostly anyway. Still I should keep in contact with Romero, if for no other reason that more interactions with others offers more chances of people getting the desire to keep my existence real._

 _The irony. It's almost to absurd. The same people that are even now violating my most personal space are the ones that I have no choice but to depend on to keep existing. Even if this existence is my own personal hell... I can't help but hold on to some sliver of hope that I will find something to make this situation a positive one. It's going to be very hard indeed to tip the balance and make the loss of free will and privacy inconsequential, it might even be a pipe dream destined for the gutters._

 _I wish I could see your thoughts as easily as you see mine, at least then I would have some measure of payback. A mind for a mind and all that jazz. Hah~ Whatever, I should head back to the castle before I miss Oogie's entrance._

With a quick look around to make sure no one was watching I dialed up my alien of choice.

 _BWOOSH_

 _Whampire! ...I really have to think up a better name for that one. It's so lame and it isn't even punny._

As I near the case I switch to Ghostfreak and have a look at the dining hall to see if the feast has started. It looks like the new students are just arriving, I contemplate staying a while but decide to go back to my room so I don't miss Oogie's arrival and my waiting food.

Once I arrive back into my room I head to my bed as my normal self and sigh, I frown as I look at my watch and say, "I'm surprised your able to be quite this long. Are you giving me the silent treatment?"

 **{"** **Don't be absurd. I was just honoring yo** **ur wi** **sh of not wanting to talk to me the rest** **of tod** **ay. Are you really so starved for interac** **tion that your willing to** **talk with someone who made you storm off into a huff not to long ago? I sa** **w the way you were reacting to that ma** **n's sob story, I never knew you were so emotionally fragile. If such a little thin** **g like that is enough to make you doubt, w** **hat are you going to do when you see bodies of children who did nothing w** **ro** **ng but being in the wrong place a the w** **rong time? There is also the fact th** **at the more people you interact wi** **th the mo** **re options you give for others to shi** **p you with, I wouldn't be at all sur** **prised if they ship you with Oogie and Ro** **mero at the same time~"}**

A snort of disbelief escapes me as I roll my eyes, "Please, I highly doubt that was your actual reason for keeping silent, and don't remind me of that. It creeps me out. It's almost as bad as the casual mind raping they partake in every time they read my mind without permission. I still don't know how the hell I am supposed to actually make a space colony of all things. Compared to that, everything else on that list is easy as pie."

I sigh as I get up from the bed to collect the books I am supposed to read and a pile of wands absently seeing if any of them react to me with no reaction at all from an of them. As I set the books and wands on the nightstand the door opens and I smile as Oogie sets a tray of food on the bed. Before he had a chance to leave I said, "Oogie Boogie. Come over here, I would like to ask you a few more things before you leave today."

Oogie did as told with a smile on his face as he said, "Yes sir. What can Oogie answer for Master?"

I chuckle slightly as I say, "Calling me that isn't necessary Oogie, now I assume Harry, Hermione, Draco, and Ron have already been sorted? What House did they end up in and did you notice anything different or off about them?"

He shook his head, "No sir, Oogie didn't notice anything off about any of them yet, but Oogie will be sure to sir if anything pops up. Draco went to Slytherin, Ron went to Gryffindor, Hermione went to Ravenclaw and the Boy-Who-Lived went to Hufflepuff sir."

I frown at that information, "I see. Do you know if you are able to find me any House Elfs that aren't bound currently? It would be nice if I had more assistance then just you since you aren't always available to be of assistance considering that you need to keep a low profile."

Oogie bows his head in shame as tears well up in his eyes, "Oogie is bad House Elf! Bad bad bad! Oogie will be sure to find a better House Elf to serve sir! Oogie is sorry for not being able to help sir more then Oogie is able to do so currently!"

I hold up my hands and say in a tome of voice that hopefully calms the distraught self, "Hey, hey, no need for the water works. Your doing fine. Really. I know you won't be able to be as useful as I would like but that is only because you need to keep your cover. I'm not trying to replace you alright? I'm just trying to find more House Elfs that can help me is all. Your really doing a bang up job, understand?"

Oogie wipes a tear that slid out of his right eye and looks at me with a shy smile, "Sir really means that? Oogie is really helping?"

I kneel down to him and give him a hug, after I let go I look into his eyes and say, "Yeah, you really are. You can go now, thanks for bringing me food Oogie."

Oogie smiles and leaves with a pip in his step while I look at my food, my stomach rumbling reminding me that I haven't eaten since this whole thing started. I happily dug into my food without a care for how it actually tasted and sighed in contentment when I was done. I looked at my night stand with the various books, wands, and pieces of paper then at the bed trying to decide which I should head to.

 _I could start today... but what could a day's head start on everyone else really allow me to do that would be of any use, assuming that my theory of Terraspin actually being able to use HP style magic holds true? I can start tomorrow once I get some sleep, I just hope I don't get another one of those dreams again. Yeah, going to sleep now sounds like a great plan. Man the food here is great, I wonder if the magic does anything to the flavor?_

 _I suppose I can ask Oogie tomorrow. I also need to figure out how to make the Omnitrix show me the time... it's annoying not being able to know what time it is. I wonder if it can translate Parseltongue? That is a rather interesting thought. No, I can't distract myself from going to sleep on that most likely actually magical bed. I hope I can take it with me once I go to wherever I go next, that and bring my House Elfs along for the ride. That would be fun..._

I yawn as I head to my bed and immediately fall asleep as soon as my body is on it, my glasses thrown on the night stand without a care.


End file.
